


Falling

by macaroni_meangirls



Category: Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: Angst, Blood, F/F, Fluff, Hospital, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Injury, Panic Attack, Vomiting, soft janis, softer damian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-19
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2020-01-16 14:03:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18523042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/macaroni_meangirls/pseuds/macaroni_meangirls
Summary: Regina steps out of the way.





	Falling

It's exhilarating.

For once in her life, people are listening to Janis, and they like what she's saying. She's surrounded by a crowd of people who genuinely like her for the truths she tells, not for being Regina George's best friend.

Awash in the glow of no longer being the mental art freak standing quietly in the shadows, Janis can't even hear what Regina and Cady say in the middle of the road, both their faces twisted with anger as they scream soundlessly at each other.

There's a sharp little pang at the sight of what Cady has become. But she can't be sad anymore...she can't let the auburn-haired girl from Africa keep hurting her. Not again. This won't happen again.

To not care is so much harder to do than to say.

Cady and Regina are still going strong over there. Regina's face is flaming red as she gestures wildly at Cady, who just looks...lost. No different than on her first day at North Shore.

Not caring is suddenly even harder.

It happens almost in slow motion. A streak of yellow, a startled shriek, and then an awful, heavy, resounding thud.

Janis's vision tunnels onto the slowly growing pool of scarlet surrounding Cady Heron's crumpled form, lying prone on the rough asphalt. Regina's shrieks echo in the background...jumped out of the way...Cady took the hit.

A scream tears from her throat that doesn't even resemble any sound she's ever made before, a wild, feral cry full of fear and horror. She shoves her way through the crowd surrounding her, running to the road. Through her peripheral vision she can see that she's the only one who isn't still frozen in shock.

Janis cannot stop screaming.

Blood soaks into her fishnet tights as stares at Cady, completely at a loss at what to do. Cady would know...Cady knows everything...

But Janis isn't Cady, and she can't even begin to think of the proper first aid procedures as her screams fade into short, gasping wails of fright as she stares at Cady.

She's so small...so fragile...her soft, curly auburn hair fans out haphazardly under her head. Her body and face are bruised, her exposed skin already starting to redden from the road rash. Her beautiful clear blue eyes are closed. The blood keeps spreading, and Janis can't even see where the scarlet tide is flowing from, much less think of how to stop it.

Her chest rises and falls rapidly as she stares down at Cady, her shrieks fading into silent hyperventilation, stinging, salty tears dripping down to mingle with the blood. Cady looks so frail...

Hands wrap around her waist, picking her up easily and hauling her away. Janis can't force her shocked brain to fight back, unable to think of anything other than the repeated image of Cady disappearing underneath the dark, treaded wheels of the bus.

"Shh...shh, Jan...Jan, we gotta let the paramedics get to her, okay?" Damian murmurs in her ear. Janis nods numbly and he lowers her to the ground, guiding her with an arm around her waist. He escorts her slowly into the school, walking them both out to the front...his car? Janis doesn't know and doesn't care. She just walks, kept on track by Damian's comforting arm.

Damian carefully stops her outside a bathroom, squeezing her lightly. "JanJan, sweet...you might want to get cleaned up a little..."

Janis cocks her head to the side in confusion, afraid to try her mouth. Her throat is raw from screaming and her lips feel numb and frozen, like stone.

Damian understands. "JanJan...look at your hands."

Janis glances down obediently, immediately freezing.

Her hands are dripping with Cady's blood, a small, crimson trail marking her path through the school.

She's covered in her friend's blood and the warm, wet feeling sends her stomach rising rapidly into her throat. Before Damian can even open his mouth, she bolts away from him, collapsing over the nearest trashcan.

Janis retches until nothing escapes her parted lips but air, and then she retches some more, thin strings of bile trailing from her open mouth and the few strands of hair that escaped Damian's hurried grip. Finally, she straightens, wiping her mouth on her sleeve, gasping slightly for air as her eyes stream with a mixture of tears of exertion and tears for Cady.

"Better?" Damian asks softly, releasing her hair and gently massaging her shoulders. Janis slumps back against him, holding her hands a few inches out in front of her to keep the wet blood from touching any more of her than it already has.

She still can't bring herself to speak, but she tilts her head towards the bathroom, not wanting to move away from his solid, comforting warmth. Once again, Damian understands, slowly guiding her into the bathroom.

He gives her his blue hoodie to replace her bloody, vomit-dripping jacket. It's far too big for her and the sleeves flop down over her hands, but it's soft and warm and smells like Damian, and Janis doesn't complain. The blood won't come out from under her fingernails, but Damian wordlessly removes a manicure kit from his bag and uses one of his tools to remove the dried crust of blood.

Her fishnets are totally soaked in crimson. Janis reluctantly removes them, revealing the scars on her legs. Damian helps her wash away the blood, leaving her legs clean but displaying her scars. Janis blinks up at him desperately, her eyes wide. She can't leave like this...everyone will see the scars she's taken great care to hide.

Damian leans back, thinking for a moment. "Jan, I'm gonna leave you here for a few minutes, okay? I think I have some gym shorts in my locker...you can wear my jeans and I'll wear those."

Janis nods weakly, not wanting him to go but not wanting to reveal her legs. Damian touches her cheek for a second and then disappears, leaving her curled on the floor in her denim shorts and the oversized blue hoodie.

He returns a few minutes later, changing quickly in a stall before offering her his jeans. Janis thanks him with her eyes before scrambling into them, now practically drowning in clothes several sizes too big for her.

As soon as she's dressed, Damian scoops her up, his arms automatically slipping into the perfect spots to accommodate her weight. Janis lets her head drop against his shoulder, wrapping her arms loosely around his neck. The smooth, steady rhythm of his steps as he carries her towards his car lulls her into an inexplicable calm through the haze of emotions she can't even begin to think through.

He settles her into the front seat, stroking her hair for a few moments before stepping over to his side, and then they're on their way home.

He carries her inside, too, laying her down on the couch in the family room. Janis doesn't move from her comfortable position as he slips into the kitchen, presumably going to explain to her mom.

She can hear hushed murmurs from the kitchen. She doesn't bother trying to eavesdrop. Moving feels impossible. Speaking feels superhumanly difficult. Even blinking is a lot of work.

Soft, warm fingers run through her hair. Someone is talking to her, calling her "baby girl." Mom...

Her head is slowly lifted onto Damian's knees. Low murmurs...someone singing to her...a blanket tucked around her limp form. Janis still can't bring herself to move.

Time loses all meaning.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Damian guides Janis into the huge white building, an arm wrapped around her shoulders. "You sure you're okay?" he ascertains, giving her a light, comforting squeeze.

Janis nods, leaning further into him. She can talk; her lips have unfrozen since yesterday, when Cady was hit. But something about this...it makes her silent anyway. Damian doesn't question her about it.

They get the room number from the receptionist and take the elevator up, Janis still clinging to Damian. He walks her to the room, stopping her before they enter.

"She's still unconscious, Jan...she looks pretty bad...you don't have to go in if you don't want to."

Janis shakes her head stubbornly, her hand trembling as she opens the door. She squeezes tightly down onto the stems of the stupid bouquet of yellow carnations she bought from the stupid gift shop downstairs. She doesn't even know if Cady likes carnations. But she bought them anyway, because being empty-handed made her feel stupider than the flowers do, and she can't stand the thought of Cady waking up alone in a room with not even a little sign that someone cares about her.

Janis hesitantly inched closer to the bed, her eyes widening at the sight of Cady's limp form.

Cady has a mask over her small, pretty face, a tube running down her throat to keep her breathing. Her face and arms are flowering with purple bruises, deep scarlet patches of road rash covering her pale, milky skin. She's missing a large chunk of her beautiful hair, visible sutures lining the bald patch. More tubes and wires stick from her arms than Janis knew there were used for. Her whole upper body is encased in a heavy plastic spinal halo, holding her broken ribs in place and correcting her spine.

Cady looks small and fragile and vulnerable and broken. Even on her first day of school, she's never looked this pitiful.

As if in a trance, Janis inches forwards, eyeing Cady like she might snap in half at any moment. She's afraid to go near her; the thought of breathing through a tube makes her practically shake with nervousness.

Slowly, she lays the bouquet of carnations down on Cady's bedside table. There's a scratchy upholstered chair drawn to her bedside, currently vacant.

Again, the thought of Cady waking up alone after being hit by a fucking bus flashes through Janis's brain, and although she's definitely still so, so angry with Cady, she sinks slowly into the seat, carefully scooping up Cady's pale, cold hand in her own warm one.

"You want a minute...?" Damian asks hesitantly, backing away towards the door. Janis considers for a moment, then nods tentatively.

"Just a minute...if you don't mind...?"

"Of course I don't," Damian says gently, a hint of knowing in his voice as he presses a platonic kiss to Janis's forehead before slipping out of the room, leaving Janis alone with a catatonic Cady.

For a moment, Janis simply watches her, gazing down at Cady's battered form. She was so pretty...still is. The bruises and rashes can't hide how purely, innocently beautiful Cady is.

Janis knew she liked her as soon as she saw her, but she passed it off as simply interest in a new girl mixed with pity for a fellow outcast. That's what she told Damian, at least. She has a sneaking suspicion that he knew she was lying to herself, but he knows when not to question her. That's one of the hundreds of things she loves him for.

At first, Janis was careful not to get too close. The realization that she'd rather kiss girls than boys dawned on her quite a while before eighth grade, but she denied it, not wanting to be any different from her friends. Then they called her a dyke, and she would have done anything in the world for them to be wrong. And all that lying, including to herself, has led her to where she is today: a quiet, tired, anxious outcast who can't even begin to confront the identity she knows is hers.

Janis is a lesbian. And God, how she wishes she wasn't.

Looking down at Cady confirms it. No matter what, Janis can't muster up more than a few remaining tongues of leftover anger. Partially because she told Cady to spy on the Plastics in the first place, and partially because it was her actions that led to Cady being in the road yesterday, and partially because she's overwhelmingly in love with Cady and she's never been able to stay angry at the people she loves.

It's not until she feels the cold wetness on her clothes that she realizes she's crying, and also that she's also been mumbling her rambling, desperate thought process aloud to the unconscious girl in front of her.

Janis clams up immediately, flushing at having spilled so much, even to someone completely dead to the world. She mops her eyes with the sleeve of her free hand, wiping away the tears.

"Come on, Caddie," she murmurs to no one in particular. "You gotta wake up for me, okay? You're not allowed to die thinking of me as a middle-finger waving bitch who hates your guts."

She's one hundred percent imagining it, but she almost feels Cady squeeze her hand lightly in agreement.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cady stirs slowly, moaning as she becomes aware of the pain all over her body. Her eyes feel heavy, and her whole body is weighted down as if by lead. The feeling is almost like being trapped at the bottom of an ocean. She's rising out of the water, but slowly, and with tremendous difficulty.

Her eyes slowly open, revealing blurry, shifting images, all drowning in bright white light. Why so bright...make it dimmer...hurts...

"Caddie? Caddie, can you hear me? Caddie, blink twice if you can hear me."

The voice echoes through the deep waters she floats in, resounding in her ears like the report of a fired gun ringing. Cady can't place the voice, but she knows it...a girl...younger. Not her mother...

Cady fights to move her eyelids, painfully closing them before forcing them back open again, letting them slide shut again after. She can make out a colorful shape over her head...the owner of the voice, maybe...? She's too tired to think much more.

Overhead, she can hear the voice talking excitedly...other voices, but far, far away...much farther away than the voice. Tired...wants to sleep...

Slowly, she surrenders to the tides, drifting away once more.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Mm..."

"Oh my God," a voice - no, not a voice, the voice - whispers reverently over her head. "Caddie...?"

"Mm..." Cady moans again, slowly opening her eyes, wincing at the stream of bright lights that immediately wash over her vision, preventing her from seeing anything else. "Light..."

"Shit, sorry, yeah, you've been in a coma for a week, you're not adjusted to light..." Shuffling, and then the lights dim greatly overhead, enabling Cady to blink away the worst of the black spots. "How are you feeling...?"

Cady slowly turns her head to the side, groaning at the pain that stabs through her at the tiny motion. "Like I got hit by a truck..."

"You're not too far off," the voice replies, a tinge of amusement breaking through the awkward concern. "It was a bus."

"You're kidding."

"I wish."

"Who are you...?" Cady mumbles hazily, unable to really make out much between the bright lights and the fact that blinking feels like hard labor.

"You don't know...?" Now the voice is slightly hurt, but still concerned at the same time. "God, Caddie, tell me you're not an amnesiac or whatever the fuck you call it, please don't be that."

"Don't think so..." Cady mumbles, trying to widen her eyes. "But can't see well...come closer...?"

More shuffling, and then the lights dim significantly and Cady is looking up into the face of the last person she would expect to be attending her bedside.

Janis looks like hell. Her hair hangs unbrushed and unwashed in tangled clumps over her face. Huge dark circles rim her glassy, dull brown eyes. Her skin has faded to the shade of condensed milk, and she appears to be wearing makeup from at least two days ago...maybe longer. She's wearing Damian's old blue hoodie, a striking difference from her usual bold, hand-embellished outfits.

"I thought you hated me," Cady mumbles, trying to focus on Janis. The other girl has tossed an extra blanket over their heads to block the lamp, enabling Cady to see her but also forcing them into unusually close proximity. Janis's face can't be more than a foot away from Cady's lips...

"I kinda did," Janis murmurs, a slight tinge of color entering her cheeks. "But I can't hold grudges against people I care about, and...Caddie, you got hit by a bus. Even if we're fighting, it'd be a real bitch move for me not to visit you."

"How long have I been here...?" Cady asks curiously, still keeping an eye on Janis. She looks like she hasn't slept in days...

"You've been in a coma for about a week," Janis replies, the blanket darkening the circles under her eyes. "You died for fifteen seconds; they revived you. You went into the coma on the way to the hospital; they couldn't wake you up, so they put you here on a breathing tube, until a few days ago...you could hear me, your brain activity was high...they took the tube out and you could breathe on your own. You haven't really reacted again until today."

Cady nods slowly. A coma...

Unable to dwell on the terrifying reality of how close she came to dying, she changes the subject rapidly. "How long have you been here?"

Janis shrugs with fake nonchalance, shaking her hair back to stall for time. "'Bout six days..."

"Straight?" Cady gasps, staring at her. There's no way...that goes way beyond an obligatory visit...

"No, I'm not," Janis mutters, the pink in her face intensifying. "I mean...yeah, I guess...insomnia...didn't want you to wake up alone or anything..."

"Just you...?" Cady asks hesitantly. "No one else..."

Janis relaxes slightly, relieved that the conversation is changing directions. "Your mom and dad are trying...but they have insurance and shit to figure out...Damian went for food...he's been here with me, for most of the time. I'll call him to bring you something if you want."

"I'm okay," Cady replies, glancing up at the fuzzy brown blanket draped over them. "You can take that off...I think I'm more adjusted now..."

Janis slowly pulls it away, straightening back up. On the bedside table is a small bouquet of yellow carnations, now rather brown and wrinkled. Clearly not fresh. "Let me guess, Damian?" Cady jokes, slowly picking up the bouquet.

"Me, actually, though that's a pretty damn excellent guess," Janis laughs weakly, averting her eyes.

"You - you got me flowers?" Cady murmurs, staring at the shriveled, wilted stems. Janis is the last person on earth she would have chosen to buy anyone flowers, much less someone she hates.

"Yeah..." Janis mutters, shifting uncomfortably in her chair. "An...an apology, I guess..."

"What for?" Cady asks, setting the bouquet down hesitantly. "I was the one who screwed you over..."

"No," Janis says thickly, her eyes still turned away. "No, you weren't, Caddie...you were acting like a Plastic, and you were doing it because I told you to, and I blamed you for becoming exactly what I made you, and - fuck it, it's my fault you were getting screamed at in the middle of the road to get hit by a bus in the first place!"

Janis buries her head in her hands, her shoulders shaking slightly. Cady's only seen Janis cry once. It's not a sight she ever wanted to see again. Janis and vulnerability don't go well together.

"Jan...?" Cady asks tentatively, slowly moving a hand towards a trembling Janis. The other girl doesn't react, seemingly not even hearing Cady's voice.

Slowly, Cady lifts her hand, wincing at the stiffness in her battered arm. Moving carefully, cautiously ensuring that she doesn't hurt or scare Janis, she tenderly brushes away a tear-soaked strand of Janis's hair, stroking a finger over her cheek.

Janis slowly lifts her head, shock filling her teary brown eyes. Cady gently wipes away the tears trickling down her cheeks.

Janis whimpers a little, turning her head into Cady's cheek. "I'm - Caddie, I'm sorry-"

"I know," Cady murmurs, stroking her thumb over Janis's cheekbone, cupping her face in her palm. "I'm sorry too..."

Janis sniffles a little, tears still escaping her glassy brown eyes. "C-can't sleep...can't st-stop seeing it...I - I was s-so scared, C-Caddie...so m-much blood..."

"Hey," Cady says as firmly as she can muster through her exhaustion. "Hey, listen to me. Don't blame yourself for that. I followed Regina into the road. It was stupid to stand there in the middle of the street. It was my fault. Not yours."

Janis nods slowly, averting her eyes once more. Cady doubts that Janis actually believes her, but now is not the time for that discussion.

"You don't have to be alone," Cady murmurs, gazing up at Janis. "Lay down with me...? I'm tired too..."

"I'll - I could hurt you-" Janis argues, pulling back slightly. "Hurt your back-"

"I'll be careful," Cady promises, slowly removing her hand to shift painfully to the far side of the bed. "Please...?"

Something in her soft plea bends Janis's will and she slowly pushes her chair back, crawling into bed next to Cady. Their bodies are pressed together, the bed not big enough to accommodate them.

Cady hesitantly slips her hand into Janis's, relaxing as the other girl squeezes it lightly in response. Janis is nowhere near as tough or intimidating or overwhelming as she usually is. She feels warm and soft, the fleecy hoodie lending to the unusual aura of vulnerability surrounding her. Cady can't move her neck out of line with her back because of the spinal halo, but if she could, she'd snuggle into Janis, burrowing against her for comfort. Like she's reading her mind, Janis wriggles a little closer, pressing her body against Cady's.

For a moment, they lay there in comfortable silence, looking up at the speckled ceiling panels overhead. Then Janis voices her thoughts, her voice still a little hoarse from crying. "Are you mad at me?"

"Not anymore," Cady replies truthfully, squeezing Janis's hand. "Are you mad at me?"

"Not anymore," Janis responds, returning the squeeze.

Neither of them says anything further. They lay quietly in the hospital room, eyes closed, enjoying each other's company, until they fall asleep.

Damian returns with the Chick-Fil-A bag about fifteen minutes later. Laughing quietly to himself, he places Janis's chicken sandwich on the bedside table for her when she wakes up. "God, Jan, you're so gay," he murmurs, gently stroking a strand of hair away from her face.

Then he leaves them to rest.


End file.
